We would like to express our gratitude to the interviewees Dr. Mohammad Abeer K C and Mr. Vikash Ranjan Jha, Senior Counsellors, Counselling Centre, IIT Kharagpur for taking out time and sharing their valuable insights with us.
Background
We are back in the campus of ICE, in the familiar world of FarhanNitrate and PreRajulisation. Raju had grown up believing that academic success was the only way out of his family’s financial struggles. His father’s health had deteriorated over the years, his sister's marriage was still pending due to financial constraints (No, Farhan did not agree to marry her.) and with the paneer becoming more and more expensive, the weight on Raju’s shoulders was growing unbearable.
But things took a turn one particular week when Raju’s strict professor, Virus, gave him a major ultimatum: complete a crucial project or fail the semester. This time, however, instead of the 7 minutes break that Virus usually takes, Raju was given a week to face his struggles. The pressure was immense. It wasn’t just about a project; it was about his entire future, his family’s future, and his sense of self-worth.
Farhan, Raju’s best friend, quickly sensed that something was wrong. Raju was unusually withdrawn, avoiding meals and skipping the fun times they used to enjoy together. He would often stare blankly out of the hostel window, he stopped playing with Kilobyte , Megabyte and their mother Gigabyte, a mix of frustration and helplessness taking over his usually hopeful demeanour.
Knowing that Raju has a lot on his plate, Farhan approached him cautiously. “Bro, what’s going on? You’ve been quiet for days. If you need to talk, I’m here.” Raju initially brushed him off, saying he was just “too busy,” but later, in a rare moment of vulnerability, he confessed to Farhan. “It’s not just the project, Farhan. I’m failing everywhere – at home, in college, and in life.”
Raju was starting to sink into that dark place where thoughts can spiral, but instead of taking drastic steps, he confided in Farhan. This time, things could be different. It was new for Farhan as well. He did not know how to react or help Raju. Worried for his friend, he went straight to the Counselling Centre and sought advice on how to support Raju through this difficult period.
Here’s a conversation between Farhan and a counsellor, where Farhan asks questions to better understand how to help Raju, who is struggling with the weight of expectations and the constant pressure of academic and personal life.
Farhan: Hello Sir, I have seen a lot of my friends including Raju stressed and irritated all the time. Why are there so many cases of mental health issues and even suicides these days? Have these problems always existed, but people just didn’t talk about them because of the stigma?
Counsellor: That’s a great question, Farhan. Young people today are particularly at risk for mental health issues for a variety of reasons. For starters, many psychiatric conditions first appear between the ages of 14 and 24. This is a critical transition period from adolescence to adulthood. During this time, parts of the brain responsible for decision-making, like the prefrontal cortex, are still developing, while the amygdala, which handles emotions, is already fully mature. This imbalance can make it difficult for young people to manage their emotions and make thoughtful decisions.
Farhan: So it’s partly due to how the brain develops during this age?
Counsellor: Exactly. But that's not the only factor. The rise in mental health awareness is another reason we're seeing more cases. More young people are recognizing when they need help, which is a good thing. However, the impact of social media is also significant. The pressure to appear perfect online, cyberbullying, and constant exposure to upsetting news can increase feelings of inadequacy, loneliness, and anxiety.
Farhan: Yeah, I can see how social media might make things worse. But what about pressures from family or academics?
Counsellor: Absolutely. Family issues, like parental divorce or conflicts, can complicate things further. Plus, there’s immense pressure on young people to succeed in academics, careers, and even socially. While mental health services have improved, there are still places where they’re limited or stigmatized. This combination of increased awareness, reporting, and real pressures contributes to the rise in cases. It’s not just that these problems have always been there; the challenges young people face today are very real.
Farhan: How can I tell if one of my friends or classmates is really struggling with suicidal thoughts?
Counsellor: There are definitely some key signs to look out for, Farhan. If a friend starts isolating themselves, avoiding social interactions, or losing interest in things they used to enjoy, it could be a red flag. You might notice changes in their sleep or eating habits, or even that they’ve stopped taking care of their appearance.
Farhan: Yeah, I’ve noticed that kind of thing before, but is there anything else that might be a warning?
Counsellor: Absolutely. If they start giving away personal belongings, apologizing a lot, or posting worrying messages on social media, that’s something to take seriously. Sometimes, people even search online for ways to harm themselves. Missing classes, skipping exams, or pulling away from family are also signs that they might be struggling.
Farhan: And how do I know when it’s more than just normal college stress?
Counsellor: Good question. Stress is normal, especially in college with academic pressure, family expectations, and financial concerns. But if stress is causing physical symptoms, like panic attacks, shivering, or heart palpitations, or if it’s leading to avoiding social situations, that’s a sign of severe anxiety. When stress stops someone from functioning day-to-day, it’s time to get professional help.
Farhan: I've noticed that Raju seems really down and isolated lately. What are some safe and effective ways to reach out and offer him support?
Counsellor: If you notice someone who seems really down or isolated, it’s important to approach them with kindness. You could reach out through mutual friends, but sometimes a direct approach works best. Try something simple like, 'Hey, I’ve noticed you’ve seemed a bit down lately. Is everything okay? I’m here if you want to talk.' It opens up space for them to share without feeling pressured.
Farhan: But what if he doesn't really want to talk or open up right away?
Counsellor: That can happen. In Gatekeeper training, we teach students to recognize signs of distress and ask the right questions and refer their friends to the counselling Centre, or in emergencies, to the campus hospital. The key is to focus on listening, not giving advice. Let them talk at their own pace. Listening is powerful—it shows patience and care, and it can make them feel truly heard. Interrupting or jumping in with advice too quickly can sometimes shut people down.
Farhan: So I should just be there and listen, even if I don’t know what to say?
Counsellor: Exactly. It takes courage and time to listen, but it’s always the right approach. At the end of the conversation, you could say something like, 'Would you like to come with me to see a counsellor?' Offering to go with them makes it easier for them to take that step without feeling alone.
Farhan: What should I do if Raju, or any friend, confides in me that they are having suicidal thoughts?
Counsellor: If a friend confides in you about having suicidal thoughts, it’s crucial to respond calmly and take them seriously. First, avoid denial—many people mistakenly believe that someone talking about suicide is just seeking attention, but those who talk about it often go on to attempt or die by suicide. This is why it’s essential to take any mention of suicide seriously.
Farhan: So, what should I say to them in that moment?
Counsellor: First stay with them, listen without judgement, and avoid offering quick fixes. Instead, refer them immediately to a counsellor, psychiatrist, or hospital for proper evaluation and care. Suicidal crises often require professional intervention, and sometimes, supervised care or hospitalization is needed to stabilize the person.
It’s natural to feel fear when someone talks about suicide, but don’t let that fear lead to denial or inaction. Encourage them to seek help by saying something like, “Would you like me to go with you to the counselling centre?” The key is to offer support and make sure they get the professional help they need.
In cases of immediate danger, stay with them and contact emergency services.
Farhan: If a close friend calls us, saying they’re about to commit suicide or have self-harmed, how should we respond if they are physically distant?
Counsellor: First, stay on the phone and keep them talking. Your voice can provide comfort, so try to calm them down by saying something like, “I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way. I’m here for you. Let’s talk through this.” Don’t rush them—just listen and give them your full attention.
Next, contact campus security immediately. Call the institute’s security control number and inform the hall warden or supervisor so they can try to find the person and reach them quickly. If possible, ask your friend where they are and share this information with security or emergency responders.
While you’re still on the phone with your friend, encourage them to keep talking*.* Avoid being judgmental or offering quick fixes—just focus on listening. If appropriate, suggest they contact a counsellor or an emergency number, and reassure them that help is on the way.
Lastly, stay on the line until help arrives. Your presence is important in keeping them engaged and preventing further harm. Once help is there, you can make sure they’re in safe hands.
Farhan: How can I support someone, like Raju, who is reluctant to share the reasons behind their suicidal thoughts and is afraid to consult a counsellor? What steps can I take if they don't feel comfortable discussing their personal issues with a counsellor?
Counsellor: In a counselling setting, maintaining confidentiality is essential, but there are important limits when it comes to safety.
If a client is at risk of harming themselves or others, counsellors must breach confidentiality to ensure their safety. This means that while the personal details shared by the client are kept private, any information that’s necessary to protect the client or others from immediate harm may need to be disclosed to emergency services or family members.
There’s a common misconception that counsellors will reveal all the information shared by clients, but this isn’t the case. Counsellors only disclose information that is necessary for preventing harm. The goal is always to protect the client while respecting their privacy as much as possible.
In essence, if a client talks about suicidal thoughts or risks, the counsellor will take appropriate actions to ensure safety, but will handle any disclosure with the utmost care and respect for the client's confidentiality.
Farhan: A number of times even the family members, who are physically the closest, do not know about the situation this person is going through and according to them if you ask their family for emotional support or help, it might increase their family's trouble, or "they won't understand" due to a typical generation gap and conflict of viewpoints. So what is the right way to inform their family or physically closer friends without leading to a panic in the family?
Counsellor: It can be challenging to inform family members about mental health issues, especially if they are not familiar with or do not take such issues seriously. In cases where family awareness and involvement are necessary, family counselling and psychoeducation can be highly beneficial.
If a student is at risk of harming themselves or others, it’s essential to inform their family or guardians to ensure their safety. In these situations, counsellors may need to breach confidentiality. While the personal details shared by the client are kept private, information necessary to prevent immediate harm might be disclosed to emergency services or family members. Involving the family in the counselling process typically requires the client’s permission and consent. Breaching confidentiality is limited to cases where there is a clear risk to safety.
Farhan: How should we provide support to someone who had recently attempted to end their life and now might feel more intimidated in social situations?
Counsellor: First and foremost, creating a supportive environment. Ensure that the individual feels safe and free from judgement. They’ve been through a significant crisis, and providing a non-judgmental atmosphere helps them feel valued and less isolated.
Next, encouraging gradual social interaction can be very beneficial. Returning to social settings can be overwhelming, so starting with smaller, manageable interactions and gradually moving to larger groups allows them to regain confidence at their own pace.
Offering reassurance and patience is also essential. It’s important to let them know that feeling anxious about social interactions is normal and that they can take their time. Assure them that their feelings are valid and there is no need to rush their reintegration into social situations.
Encouraging ongoing professional support is vital. A common myth is that once someone attempts suicide, the pain and shame will prevent them from trying again. In reality, untreated depression, which often underlies suicidal thoughts, is a recurring condition. Each episode of depression can increase the risk of suicide. Therefore, it’s important to emphasise the need for continuous counselling and psychiatric services. Depression involves disruptions in brain chemistry, which can be effectively managed with appropriate medical and psychological care.
Conclusion
Farhan now knew how he could handle the situation. He went to Raju and tried comforting him. Raju realised that even the sharpest minds need support sometimes. Our college life may seem like confusion hi confusion hai solution kuchh pata nahi, but it's important to remember that we are not alone. We are surrounded by people who care.
The project deadline was still looming, but with Farhan’s support and the counselling sessions, Raju started managing his stress more effectively.
To all our readers, whether you are facing your own chaos or know someone who is, make sure to reach out to friends and don't hesitate to seek help. Remember there's always a solution—whether it’s through counselling, talking to a friend, or simply pausing to breathe. As Baba Rancho Das said “Place your hand at your heart and say Aal izz well!”
Gatekeeping Resources
For students interested in online Gatekeeper for Suicide Prevention courses, the QPR Institute offers a variety of options. You can explore these courses at QPR Institute’s website.
At the Counselling Centre, counsellors conduct Gatekeeper training programs for students, hall staff, health professionals, security staff, and sometimes even faculty advisors and wardens. They are highly trained instructors of QPR Gatekeeper training, which underscores their commitment to providing top-notch training and support.
These courses are a great opportunity for anyone on campus to develop the skills needed to recognize and respond to signs of suicidal risk. They play a vital role in creating a supportive and responsive community, enhancing our collective ability to address mental health concerns effectively.
Some resources that are available on campus for students who are struggling with their mental health or having suicidal thoughts
The primary resource is Counselling Centre, where students can access both individual and group counselling. This centre provides a confidential and supportive environment for students to address their concerns and receive professional guidance.
In addition to the Counselling Centre, psychiatric services are available for those who need evaluation and treatment for mental health conditions. For further support outside of regular campus hours, students can turn to YourDOST, an online platform offering emotional support and counselling services.
In case of a mental health or physical health emergency, students should immediately contact the Campus Health/Medical Emergency Service at 82632 or 81008, or go directly to the hospital emergency room. Counselling Centre also offers a 24/7 on-call service for personal crises, working closely with B.C. Roy Technology Hospital to ensure that students receive timely support during emergencies.
When a mental health emergency arises, the process begins with contacting to the B C Roy Technology hospital. After initial stabilization, a referral is made to an On-Call Counsellor who will provide immediate support at the hospital. The Counselling Centre will then follow up on the case.
These resources are designed to provide comprehensive support, ensuring that students have access to the help they need at any time.
Interviewed and Written by: Muskan Khemka and Vihaan S Kumar
We would like to thank Secretary Media and Content Writing Abhideep Shikhar and Secretary Design Shruti Gangrade and Jatavath Vignesh Naik for their assistance.
